Rough Draft for Personal Essay

It all happened so very quickly. In only a few short days we were transformed from a family of four to a family of five with a sixth on the way. In a matter of days, what we had thought would have taken months or years to complete had happened.

I’ve always considered my family like a cloud with silver lining. Each generation had its flaws, and with our flaws come miraculous things. I’ve been raised in a cluster of three cousins and a sister. Regardless of our age differences we were always raised the same. There have been countless times when asked how many siblings I have, that I have replied “there are five of us.” Up until a few months ago, I didn’t believe that things would ever stray from there.

I can remember the day as if it was yesterday. Well, in all honesty it was only three month’s ago. June 13^th. It was originally a typical Wednesday. I had decided to stay home and relax that night. This was the first night I had met my sisters soon to be husband. I was sitting outside with my parents on the deck. My sister and her boyfriend walked through the gate and within a moment announced that they would be moving in together. Although she’s been with him for over a year at that point, I had never met him and my parents had just met him twice. In moments, they announced that they were going to have a baby.

It took the rest of the night for those words to be believable. I remember training myself to believe it. She is going to have a baby. She is going to have a baby. Regardless of the training I forced myself into to realize it, I was not surprised. Over the years I’ve used several adjectives to describe my sister. Irresponsible. Immature. Reckless. Unreliable. Throughout all that time the concept of pregnancy ever became real to me. I would joke about it with my friends. Deny it to my parents. Presume that it was a reality that even she would realize the seriousness of. But of course, I was mistaken. Throughout the next few days I tried to ignore the reality and identify any of my sisters’ positive characteristics. Not a very easy task. Unmarried. I could surpass that. Unmarried couples have children every day. Unhealthy, both physically and mentally. Between her smoke clogged lungs, her anxiety and depression I realized things were not exactly permissible. She has been smoking for the last thirteen years. Suffering, and medicating from depression and anxiety for the last five years. I saw my sister as if she was a stack of cards ready to fall apart. To make matters worse, my sister has a less than semi-stable financial life. She has very little savings, and several thousand dollars in student loans. Despite all her endeavors, she seemed genuinely happy that she was expecting a child.

About two months later my extended family was gathered for our monthly family dinners. This was the first introduction my extended family would have the chance to meet my sisters’ boyfriend. We come from a very close-knit family and my family can be very judgmental when meeting a new boyfriend. After a few minutes, her boyfriend announced that they were engaged and that she was expecting. Not the best first impression he could have made on my family. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years and they still do not respect him. Much of my family shares the same opinions of my sister as I do, and they all believe that this is too soon. My father attempted to make peace by suggesting that they sit down for dinner and discuss this after. My family has had the same seating arrangements for many years, and needless to say none of us were happy to move because of my sisters’ fiancé. My Uncle Nicky, who is my sisters Godfather and normally sits right next to her had the most serious issue. Our calm family dinner only lasted for about twenty minutes when my sister began to preach her fiancé’s positive points. Although I realize she was only trying to help my family accommodate this new situation, it resulted in a series of arguments. These arguments lead to the eventual dismissal of my sister and her fiancé. This is going to the first child born since my grandmothers passing two years ago. Prior to her death, she was matriarch of our family. Since then, her son whom is my sisters’ godfather has resumed the role of patriarch. Our family is stressed by the news of her pregnancy, but we still resume the roles of a family.

My family has several pre-requisites before gaining admittance into our family. Once you are with us, you are with us for life and treated as one of our own. My two cousins who are already married, one of which with children recognize these pre-requisites as mandatory. Each of my cousins met their current husbands and gave my family exposure before things went into the subject of marital status. My sister was expected to follow this process. This engagement has caused conflict that has divided my family.

Tonight was when the engagement progressed to the next level. As I mentioned previously, my family gathers together once a month for a family dinner. When I arrived with my parents shortly before my sisters arrival things seemed to have calmed down. I saw my two little cousins, age 7 and 4, playing in the empty part of the dinning room. I wondered to myself in five years from now how they would remember this; how having a new little cousin would affect them. Shortly after 6 PM my sister opened the door and proceeded into the dinning room. She was alone this time although she was physically growing bigger. She proceeded to her normal seating next to our uncle, her godfather. Upon greeting her he kissed her head much as my grandfather did when we were younger. In my family, it is a sign of compliance. It reminds us that although we are flawed, we are loved. Only once did the conversation of her fiancé progress into our ritual. My sister said, “He is going to be a part of this family. He is a part of mine.” Her godfather responded only with a stare of acceptance for her sake.

My sister is currently five months pregnant. I must admit, I am proud of her. In the past three months, with the help of her fiancé she has quit smoking and consolidated her student loans. Her fiancé, Christopher, plans to take care of her in the following months during her pregnancy and after. I’m on the verge of realizing that although this engagement and pregnancy was not planned in a year from now, it will be as if it had never happened. There is no ideal path to parenthood.

For my thematic elements of this essay, I can say that every day changes things a little bit more. In the next week, I will be moving into my sisters’ old room and she will find out whether she is having a boy or a girl. In another month, my sister will invite her fiancé to my aunts’ house once again. In two months, my sister will be setting up a nursery for her expectant child and in 4 months from now, we will have a newborn child to welcome into our family.

For my family, my immediate family of five siblings, we are going to have a third child born into this generation. Just like my two younger cousins, Christopher and Caitlin, my sister’s child will be blessed with the same moral values that we were once. Despite our flaws, we are family.